I wanna be a renowned golf architect like Pete Dye, Tom Fazio and everyone else who’s ever designed a course


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Nosing around golf course web sites and promotional materials these days, I’m starting to wonder just how hard it is to become a ‘renowned golf architect.’ A google search just netted me 9,210 pages with that exact phrase.

Arizona Golf: Save big money on green fees now that the heat is on


This post is by Cheap Bastard from Budget Golf by Cheap Bastard


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The Cheap Bastard is a carbon-based life form. But a highly flammable one. You see, where most people get pigment, yours truly got a mixture of rocket fuel and propane. Now, surprisingly, this makes my skin incredibly soft and supple. But sadly, my body could detonate the moment the temperatures hit 80.

Which is why, sadly, I am unable to take advantage of some of the great rates going on in Arizona right now. You see, right at this very moment, it’s roughly 115 degrees Celsius, cubed in Arizona. Those that manage golf courses realize this is a problem, at least the ones that aren’t too hot to think. So, green fees get cut, and demented and dedicated duffers can d … , d …., well, something that stars with a “d” that means “take advantage of.”

So right now, the weather is hot in Arizona and so are the deals. Take Kokopelli Golf Club for instance. During the peak season, you could be paying up to $80 for a round. Now golfers can play a round, get two drinks and use a cart for $20 on weekdays after 10 a.m. and $23 on weekends after 11 a.m., according to the Arizona Republic.

There are plenty of other deals going on in Arizona that the Cheap Bastard can’t take advantage of, and you can find out about them by calling (800) 426-6148 or by heading over to Arizona Golf Packages.

Just remember, if you’re playing golf in Arizona, stay hydrated. And if you happen to see the Cheap Bastard, run for it. I could go up like an old Pinto at any moment.

Roid rage: Golfers on steroids won’t necessarily be bulked up, you morons


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If you people don’t stop equating steroid use – which should be outlawed in professional golf – with steroid abuse (which is dumb as hell, illegal – and should be outlawed in pro golf), I’m going to rip off someone’s head and chuck it in the Barry Burn!

Taking steroids is seen by the governing bodies of most sports as an unfair advantage. Keep in mind that “taking steroids” does NOT have to mean gaining huge amounts of unsightly muscle. ‘Roids were developed for legit medical purposes, people! In summer months, I shoot a steroid spray into my nose to combat grass pollen allergies. My grandma took steroids when she tore up her knee in a fall! Obviously, that isn’t what we’re talking about here. (Grandma could barely bench 175.)

But the point is, it takes an intentionally high dose of steroids to bulk up ala Barry Bonds’ melon. But lower doses would still help golfers combat fatigue, especially as the years rack up and it gets late in the season. Lower doses wouldn’t have to result in an amount of muscle that would help a little guy rip the ball 330 yards off the tee, but they would still be an unfair advantage (even if you think Gary Player is full of it).

So if I read one more blogger or pundit riffing about how huge muscles wouldn’t help a golfer, or about how – because they’re not seeing any muscle-bound Chris Benoit-look-alikes on tour, steroids aren’t a problem – I’m going to bash in my screen with a nine-iron, tear the computer out of the wall and smash your face with it.

And one other thing ……. ‘roid rage is a total myth, you pencil neck.

Drug testing for the PGA Tour? Let’s start with commissioner Tim Finchem


This post is by Doug Carey from Doug Carey


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We really didn't need a blog to tell us that Tim Finchem will do anything Tiger tells him to. That much was known long ago.

What's ludicrous about Finchem's latest mess is that we're even having this discussion. As ESPN Radio's Colin Cowherd said toda…

Phil Mickelson needs time to mope after Winged Foot


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Dear Phil:

Just read where you're withdrawing from the annual ING Par-3 Shootout at Treetops Resort in Gaylord, Mich. Probably a good idea. Why bring your family to an event you always enjoy and start moving forward with things? Instead, stay home and…

Hurricane Tim Finchem and PGA Tour get it right in New Orleans


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Quite a weekend for the good people of New Orleans. From Jazzfest to Reggie Bush and the Zurich Classic, the Big Easy is back. Maybe not entirely, sure, but the signs are good.

With all the excitement surrounding Bush, it'll be easy to minimize the PG…

Blame Mercedes Championships yawner on PGA Tour boss Tim Finchem


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For all the criticism Bud Selig receives – and deservedly so – he’s no longer the worst commissioner in sports. Just days into the new year, PGA Tour boss Tim Finchem has successfully wrested away the title.

In no other major sport does opening…

Seve Ballesteros wasn’t really missed


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Some comebacks are just unnecessary. After this week's Madrid Open, we can add Seve Ballesteros to the list.Absent from competition for the past two years due to injuries, Seve talked a good game heading into Madrid. "Winning is very possible," he to…

Does Australia hold the key to affordable golf?


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Want to make golf more accessible for American kids? Look toward Australia, mate.

As Stuart Appleby told the San Francisco Chronicle, "Golf is way more affordable in Australia than it is here (in the U.S.). It's not as elitist a sport over there. You…

Sergio keeps it real, gets fined


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News item: PGA European Tour Fines Sergio Garcia.

For what, you ask? A profanity-laced press conference? Punching a belligerent fan? Showing up drunk?

Nothing that bad, fortunately. Instead, Garcia was fined for kicking an advertising board durin…

Phil Mickelson: How to lead a balanced life


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It’s a good thing golf is an individual sport, because Phil Mickelson would be a lousy teammate. Ryder Cup fans already know this, of course, but just imagine Lefty suiting up for Bill Belichick this week.

Mickelson: I’m going to have to miss week…

Killing me slowly: Crane’s win sets golf back


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Reading Tim McDonald’s recap of Ben Crane’s agonizingly slow win at the US Bank Championship reminded me of my favorite John Wooden quote: “Be quick, but never hurry.”

If we’re lucky, Crane’s win won’t inspire a new wave of golfers to spend more time hovering over every shot. There are already enough slow golfers, and I’m convinced most of them have visited my local muni at some point.

I’m not suggesting everyone needs to race through their next round, but I’m sure there’s a way to enjoy golf without overanalyzing every single bleeping shot. Like the Wizard of Westwood said, you can be efficient without rushing through things. It’s as true in golf as it is in basketball.

Bottom line? Slow play is killing golf. The USGA and everyone else who cares thinks it’s the rising green fees. Yes, it’s a factor. However, I’m convinced slow play keeps more golfers away. Instead, the PGA Tour – and most everyone, for that matter – just pays the issue lip service, giving it the same level of attention John Daly gives his diet.

Don’t know how it is at your course, but the course marshal here always seems much more concerned about the beer stashed at the bottom of my bag than getting people off the course before dark. Priorities, people!

And really, if you want to increase play, you need to target the real decision-maker in the house: The wife. Just a hunch, but I’m thinking the wife would be much more agreeable to your weekly round with the guys if you could promise to be home in four hours instead of five or six.

Annika Rocks


This post is by Doug Carey from Doug Carey


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Quote of the week comes from LPGA commish Ty Votaw, commenting on the tour’s new $1 million year-end playoff: “We didn’t talk to any of the other golf tours because we thought it was such a good idea, they would want to take it.”

Yeah…that’s the ticket. Because a year-end playoff is just so unprecedented. I’ve never heard of such a thing. (Well, except for maybe in some minor sports like, say, baseball.) Pity Tim Finchem for not thinking of it first.

Whether or not it’s actually a good idea for the LPGA is still a huge question. Even the players on tour are unsure about the concept, with some (read: Juli Inkster) flat-out criticizing the proposal. And it doesn’t help when the only player who really matters offers only a lukewarm endorsement.

Speaking of Annika, maybe it’s time the LPGA rethinks the new slogan it introduced last week: These Girls Rock.

Instead, let’s be accurate and go with this:

Annika Rocks…And The Rest of ‘Em are Still Better Than You.

Why isn’t Annika Sorenstam a cover girl?


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After watching Annika Sorenstam steamroll the competition at last week’s Chick-fil-A, SI.com’s Seth Davis asked his employers to cancel the magazine’s Sportsman of the Year search. So what if it’s mid-May? Davis wants to give Sorenstam the honor right now.

Guess what? He’s absolutely right. At this point, Sorenstam’s lead is larger than her 10-stroke win last Sunday. As Davis correctly points out, Sorenstam should’ve won the award in 2003. This time, you’d think she’d be a shoo-in. You’d be wrong.

Curious to see how many times Sorenstam has been an SI cover girl, I accessed the magazine’s online archives. The search turned up two covers, but on both Sorenstam isn’t the main image; instead, she’s stuck in a small corner, easily overshadowed by the featured picture.

So this week you’d think Sorenstam would finally get her own cover, right? Hardly. Not when week 14 of the 30-week NBA playoff season is in full grind. As a result, we get Steve Nash of the Phoenix Suns, who would’ve been a fine choice except for the fact that (a) the Suns’ Amare Stoudemire was on the cover just four weeks ago, and (b) the NBA finals don’t start until mid-June, at the earliest.

Before engraving Sorenstam’s name on this year’s SI award, Davis should first try to get a regular cover devoted to her. Sorenstam may not sell as many magazines as Nash, but her story is just as compelling.

In search of the perfect airport


This post is by Doug Carey from Doug Carey


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Because I’m a bit of an airport geek, I just spent the past 30 minutes reviewing the new report from Skytrax that lists the world’s Top 10 Airports for 2005.

(Okay, so maybe I’m a huge airport geek. Sue me. Surely I’m not the only one who actually looks forward to an extended layover so I can see if the airport might have a casino, porn shop, or an outdoor beer garden. As it turns out, Germany’s Frankfurt Airport has all three.)

According to Skytrax – and its 5,584,365 survey respondents – five of the top 10 airports are in Asia, with HongKong International Airport grabbing the top spot.

Scroll down quite a bit and you’ll find the first U.S. airport – Minneapolis-St. Paul International, which ranked 20th overall. Ouch. Somewhere along the way, the U.S. forgot how to build superior airports. Now they don’t even try. (And please don’t write about Denver International, which 10 years later still seems to need some serious tinkering.)

The worst part about the survey is that I wasn’t all that surprised to see the U.S. shutout of the top 10. I can’t remember the last time I was blown away by an airport’s layout/amenities/services. But maybe I just don’t fly enough. Is there a U.S. airport you think deserved a high ranking? Let me know.

Memo to Michelle Wie: Just say no


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Like fellow blogger Jennifer Mario, I don’t have a problem with women receiving PGA Tour sponsor exemptions. For as much as these companies are paying, they should be allowed as many exemptions as they want.

And, yes, it certainly won’t hurt the ratings when Michelle Wie plays in the John Deere Classic. And if she does well, she just might earn a spot in the British Open. To some, it’s blasphemy. I won’t go that far, but it all seems like way too much, too soon.

What I’d really like to see is Wie put together a solid run on the LPGA Tour before she receives her next PGA Tour invite. Then I’d like to see her publicly decline the invitation and pass it onto Annika Sorenstam, the only woman deserving of the honor. (Seeing how Annika is busy rewriting the entire LPGA record book, she’d likely decline the offer.)

If Wie is serious about her long-term future, she’ll stop accepting every invitation that comes her way. I realize most 15-year-olds aren’t known for their incredible focus, but it’s not too much to ask for Wie to settle on just one goal this year (besides finishing her sophomore year): Winning an LPGA Tour event.

Masters leftovers


This post is by Doug Carey from Doug Carey


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Phil Mickelson was sure the popular choice before the Masters, but that bandwagon is pretty light today. Tiger finally wins again and the Lefty naysayers come storming back in full voice.

Fair enough. Having picked Mickelson to repeat, I’ll be the first to give Tiger all the respect in the world. But the Tour season didn’t end last Sunday. Before we start engraving Tiger’s player of the year trophy, let’s go ahead and play the other three majors, shall we? My hunch is Mickelson – unlike past years – isn’t going to be content this year w/wins at the FBR Open, Pebble Beach, and the BellSouth.

Lastly…can we stop already w/the countless columns from the Masters listing the week’s “winners and losers”? Enough. There was only one winner on Sunday, and it wasn’t Chris DiMarco. Go ahead and praise him all day long – and deservedly so – but let’s stop calling the second-place finisher a “winner.”

New and improved Mickelson primed to repeat


This post is by Doug Carey from Doug Carey


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One year after correctly picking Phil Mickelson to win the Masters, I’m ready to do it again. And this year I feel even better about the choice.

While Chris Baldwin waxes poetic – “Mickelson will forever be the romantic pick and seldom the realistic one” – it’s clear our favorite blogger is stuck in 2003. Back then, I would’ve agreed with Baldwin’s argument. Mickelson wasn’t mature enough to take that next step. But after a disastrous 2003 season (for Mickelson, at least), he changed his entire approach to the game. Thanks to his work with Dave Pelz and Rick Smith – plus an intelligent change in equipment – he seems more focused than ever.

And for what it’s worth, I love the fact that Mickelson stuck around to win the BellSouth yesterday. How can this possibly be a bad thing? (“Oh, the horror. Lefty missed a day of practice at Augusta.” Please.) If anything, winning in wet conditions should serve him well this week at Augusta, where the forecast calls for rain starting Thursday.